Social distancing? Keep your emotional balance

Tips for maintaining mental balance

First, you need to look after your own emotional life. Only then you will be able to help others do the same. But, how do you cope with the emotional strain of isolation, or losing your breathing space because you are constantly cooped up with others while worrying about your family, the state of the world, your finances and maybe even your job? 

Hopefully, the suggestions below will help you keep as balanced during possible during these difficult and unpredictable times. It is the unpredictability about what is likely to happen next that knocks us off kilter and sends our thoughts and emotions into a spin. So, the trick is to take back a degree of personal control. Taking control in one area of your life will make you feel less out of control and worried. How do we take control? Well, in Transactional Analysis psychotherapy we talk about six biological and psychological needs that must be fulfilled for a person to be in balance and I have described them for you below.

1) Structure Your Time

Having a time-structure or routine maintains your sense of control and now is not the time to be emotionally rudderless. A routine will anchor your mental balance. So, structure your time and stick to the plan. Put a new routine in place. Keep your sleeping and waking times regular. Sleep is essential for physiological health and a strong immune system (if you are having trouble getting to sleep there is help here - Difficulty Sleeping?). Make a list of what you are going to do each day, and when. Build some exercise into your daily routine. Plan for your future for when this is all over. Stay focused and productive. Consider keeping a journal? Analyse how you are spending your time. How much of your day is spent alone, and how much time do you spend in connection with others? You will need to balance this see-saw to suit your own temperament. Some people need lots of quiet time alone to re-charge (so, if this has been taken away from you need to find a way to re-schedule your ‘alone’ time back in). Everyone needs some social connection.

2) Keep Connected

Contact and recognition are essential human needs. Physical contact (touch, hand-holding, hugs) makes us feel better. Recognition is the need to be noticed and receive attention and acknowledgment that can only be supplied by another human being. It is a need for a sense of belonging and a feeling that other people know you are alive. Feeding alone is not enough for infants. Babies need face-to-face emotional connection with an adult human to thrive. Adults also fail to thrive when no one interacts with them. Recognition can be received by a simple nod, someone saying your name, hello, or giving you compliments or praise. So, build contacting others you know and who care for you into your routine. You can connect with them via remote face-to-face contact or hear their voice on the phone. Give them recognition and help them in any way you can and in return receive recognition and connection yourself. Stay connected with work colleagues and social clubs. Join in with local community initiatives and volunteer if you have the time. Loneliness and feelings of isolation are not at all good for mental health. People don’t do well in solitary confinement. Remember that we are actually doing physical distancing - social distancing!

3) Add Joy and Excitement

Build Incidents and Stimulus and Passion into your new routine. Incidents are challenging or different experiences that break up boredom. This is all about re-asserting yourself and your control over life by doing something out of the ordinary. So, do an online course, sing, write a novel, make a video, take up a new hobby, try a new exercise, read a new novel, or treat yourself to a new game, or movie. Use this time to put some variety into your life! Stimulus is the need for sensation and input into the five senses - sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. Human beings are sensation seeking. So, browse on-line art galleries and museums, cook new dishes and try new flavours and tastes, listen to music, re-decorate while you have the time, do your gardening and smell the flowers, take different routes on your walks, and stimulate your mind with quizzes and puzzles, or by creating new ideas. Passion is experienced through dancing, sex, telling sexy stories or jokes and having intimacy with other people. Passion is an essential part of life that fulfills our physical and psychological needs.

Look and see where you are out of balance. Now, use your creativity to find ways to fulfill those needs to look after your own emotional life! And, please share ideas you have found useful.

Contact - Thrive Counselling and Coaching