Over the years we all get used to thinking in the same ways. Our thinking patterns became a habit before we even realized what we were doing. The New Year is a time when people often decide to make a change so below I have listed a menu of thinking patterns that often make us unhappy. Why don't you try picking the thinking habit that fits you best and then make a New Year's resolution to change it next year? Changing just one of these thinking patterns could make your new year a much happier one!
1) Mental Filter - only choosing to see what fit's with your usual view of the world like only noticing negative things and dismissing everything else. Ask yourself. Am I filtering out the positive? What would be a more realistic view of the world?
2) Compare and Despair - There is no one on this planet like you, so you cannot fairly compare yourself to someone else. The only person you should compare yourself to is you. Ask yourself am I seeing the good only in others, and never in myself?
3) Shoulds and Musts - 'Shoulds' and 'Musts' put pressure on us and set up unrealistic expectations. Ask yourself are you putting unrealistic (even impossible) expectations on yourself? What would be more realistic?
4) Critical Self - Blaming ourselves for situations that are not entirely our responsibility? Is your inner critic beating you up and putting you down? Instead, celebrate your wins no matter how big or small. Pat yourself on the back and be proud of what you have achieved.
5) Mountains and Molehills - Exaggerating the risk of danger or the negative. Ask yourself am I exaggerating the dangers? How would someone else see it? Step outside of your comfort zone and try something new. Maybe just take a small step to begin... It’s incredible the feeling we get when we realize we have achieved something we didn’t know or think we could do before.
6) Black and White Thinking - is what we do when we are very stressed. We believe there is an either/or, right/wrong, do/don't...and that there is no middle option. We can't see any shades of grey. Things aren't totally black or white, so ask yourself where this falls on the spectrum?
7) Catastrophising - Imagining and believing the worst possible will happen. Calm your mind every day. Breathe in and out, clear your mind of your thoughts and just be still and safe. Then review the situation. Thinking the worst will happen isn't usually helpful so try concentrating instead on what's most likely to happen.
8) Memories - current situations can trigger upsetting memories and feelings leading us to believe that the danger is in the here and now rather than in the past. Try to notice when this happens! Then you can take charge of these upsetting feelings. You can remind yourself that was then, and this is now. Even though the memory makes you feel upset, it isn't actually happening now.
9) Prediction - Believing we know what is going to happen in the future. Ask yourself if you are predicting the future? And then look at exactly how likely it is your prediction will come true.
10) Mind Reading - Assuming we know what other people are thinking (usually about us). Ask yourself, am I assuming what others are thinking? What's the evidence? These are my own thoughts, not their's. So think about whether there a more balanced way of viewing things.
Just start by changing the one you tend to use the most. If you aren't sure which one fits you best ask family or friends. They will tell you. Then, have some fun changing this thinking pattern to see what a difference it makes to you! Hopefully it will make your New Year brighter and lighter!
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